~or~ Excuse Me While I Go Write About Masturbation Dudes and Duttets, both and other, nothing, or something in between who follow my masturbation adventures: I haven’t been updating my lovely blog about my jacking off adventures, nor have I written sex toy reviews as of late. You probably noticed that and it’s fucking bugging […]
REVIEW: Mona
Allow me to begin with the Mona by Lelo… You’ve probably heard my fellow bloggers sing praise to the Lelo Mona; this reviewer is no exception. I was surprised, actually, by how much this toy kicked ass. I expected something good, considering how much I’ve heard about this toy, but I wasn’t expecting it to be fucking good. I […]
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REVIEW: Pleasure Mates Collection
~Or~ We-Vibe Pleasure Mates Collection–Gotta Collect them all! (see what I did there? I’m hilarious.) Before we get to the We-Vibe Pleasure Mates Collection… I’m going to have to start making quickie reviews for you all because I’m behind on reviews and my life is bat shit crazy right now (at least I’m not bat […]
Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and Me
HYPOACTIVE SEXUAL DESIRE DISORDER The other day I forced myself to masturbate. It was one of the most uncomfortable nights I’ve had as a sex toy reviewer. We all know by now that my meds left me with NO libido. I usually masturbate just enough to get good notes for the toys and then […]
REVIEW: Motorhead Ace of Spades Vibrator
Allow me to talk about the Motorhead Ace of Spades Vibrator… Every so often a toy comes along that surprises me. The Motörhead Ace of Spades 7 Function Power Classic Vibrator from Lovehoney is that toy. From a toy that inexpensive I expected a nice little massage on my clit but OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, […]
REVIEW: Pure Wand
~Or~ Oh Hai, So the Pure Wand G-Spot dildo is Fucking Amazing Allow me to begin… I had one major goal as a sex toy reviewer when I first started out: that I would one day own the Njoy Pure Wand g-spot dildo. Whelp, that one day has happened, thanks to the wonderful folks over at Patsy Sue. […]
REVIEW: Amorino
~Or~ Ah, so that’s what it’s like to be covered in my girly-juice Let’s get started with the Fun Factory Amorino I’m going to start off by exploring with you my first thought before using the Fun Factory Amorino. When I first saw it in Good Vibes I couldn’t imagine it feeling good at all, […]
Sex drive= Null; Blogging= Life
I made a calendar for my reviews. Not like a “oh, you should post this review this week,” but a “Tonight you’re going to jack off with THIS and THIS and save THIS ONE for the next day but then repeat the first two THIS’ and then write the review of THIS as you jerk […]
Diddling Dates #1
November 21, 2015: I discovered the Stronic Zwei, the toy that stimulated my g-spot like a crazy mofo when I was feeling exceptionally lazy. I wrote a hurried review of it because I wanted everyone to know how awesome it is. I also posted a vid of it fucking my vagina, something I’ve never done […]
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REVIEW: Stronic Zwei
~or~ OMG MY VAGINA Did I get your attention? The Stronic Zwei by Fun Factory got mine; not only that but it also required three pages of notes in order to make sure that you know how wonderful this toy is. I swear, this toy will be the one that makes me ejaculate. I’m going to start […]