Edit: Since I wrote this in 2014 things have changed and this toy is (thankfully) out of production. Instead, this.

Lovehoney sent me the Ooooh! G-Spot Vibrator in exchange for an honest review.

Overall quality: Poor.

Sound: Loud as fuck.

Aesthetics: It looks a bit funky (but how much that matters depends on you), and the color is gorgeous.

Delivers what’s promised: No. No no no, not as a g-spot vibrator.

* * *

I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THIS TOY.

This toy be loud as fuck. Seriously, allow me to demonstrate the effect the sound this toy has on little animals.

First, the boring deets. The Ooooh G-spot Vibrator is shaped like a warped letter C, meaning the curve is dramatic, intended to hit the g-spot. And it did, when it was not vibrating. The curve is also really odd; it becomes remarkably thin at the bottom of the curve, near the handle and nearly doubles in size at the tip. While it was vibrating I couldn’t think, let alone pay attention to what I was feeling. However, it has potential as a non-vibrating dildo. But, unfortunately, it’s marketed as a vibrator and so I have to say that it did not live up to what it promised.

From the tip of the curve to the removable base (where you insert two AAA batteries) the toy is 7 inches long but one 5 inches is insertable. That’s plenty for me, no complaints about the size of the toy. Considering the g-spot lies about 2-3 inches inside the vagina it didn’t need to be any longer. The widest part of the Ooooh! is the tip which has a circumference of 4″, considerably smaller than some g-spotting toys. There is no “give” to this toy, it is completely rigid and that’s what makes it a good g-spot massager.

The outer shell of the toy isn’t quite velvety smooth. It requires a lot–I really mean A LOT– of lube because of the drag, which is quite intense. Not altogether a bad thing. What is a bad thing is that there’s no way to get the lube out of the poorly constructed seam; so this toy is essentially not able to be fully cleaned.

I took out the batteries for the photo shoot. When I tried to put them back in the toy was stuck on the highest non-patterned vibration and refused to turn off. The button stopped working. So, I left the batteries out.

Only use this toy if your neighbors are hard of hearing. Or there’s a construction crew with a jackhammer working outside your house, that way (hopefully) the two noises get confused. Who knows? Maybe they’ll think it’s hot, I’m sure there’s a fetish for that (a google search for “noise fetish” came up empty handed).

That’s not to mention the thick seam running along two sides of the toy. There is no way to keep this toy clean with a seam like that. And the button. The soft one-push button collapses under the tiniest bit of pressure. There’s no holding the button to turn off the toy. You have to cycle through 5 patterns and speeds. The patterns seem to be at the highest level, which is a powerful buzz, more bee-like than, say, the Original Magic Wand (which isn’t quite rumbly but is almost there).

The nicest thing I can say about this toy is that the packaging was classy as fuck, with a beautiful violet color, true to the toy, and dark black and grey accents.     

For a sex toy, $30 is a pretty reasonable price to pay but not for this quality of a vibrator, especially one that has no practical use being used as a vibrator. Save your money, invest in a Comet II. Sometimes you have to spend more for quality sex toys.

Visit Lovehoney by clicking the banner below. . Thank you, Lovehoney! It was a learning experience.