On Her Back presents:

Kiki the Unimpressive by Picobong

First Impression:

Well isn’t that the cutest thing EVER! A mini Gigi, something my vagina has yet to try. Then: omg if I’m not careful I’m not going to be able to retrieve this after vaginal use. Although it’s primary use is as an external vibrator, I couldn’t resist putting it in my vagina and trying to make it press up against my g-spot. FAIL. My cavernous vagina just swallowed that poor thing up. It had no hope. One minute it was there, the next it was g-o-o-o-o-one.

Wow, I totally forgot that was against me. The vibrations are incredibly weak, so weak that that little thing didn’t get me off AT. ALL. Nothing. There was so little stimulation that I actually got bored. I didn’t even reach the point of sexual frustration because it was so bad at being a vibrator.

I had high hopes for this Picobong toy, considering that it’s a product thingy of Lelo, who makes some wonderful toys. NOPE.

For those of you that enjoy super-duper weak vibrations and love patterns, you’re in luck! There are twelve patterns Kiki, none of which got me off.

My main issue:

Wtf is up with the “C-spot”? It’s called a clitoris, you guys.

Epiphora sums it up well:

And of course, the godawful “C-Spot” thing. PicoBong has made much ado about the fact that the brand is for hip, inexperienced youngins. In keeping with this, or something, they continually call the clitoris the “C-Spot.” Jesus fucking christ. Cosmo and Oprah do a good enough job forcing disgusting lingo into the American vernacular without your help, PicoBong. PLEASE. What did the word “clitoris” ever do to you?

The Good:

There wasn’t much other than the color and the size. And I’d only consider the size to be a
“good” because it’s super fucking adorable. Beyond that this toy sucks butt. It is, however, whisper quiet, unlike some other toys that have falsely claimed that.

The buttons are cleverly placed in the “P” and the “B” and they are easy to press. But that don’t do shit when you take into consideration the weak-ass vibrations.

Oh, and it’s waterproof up to 1 meter! That means if you’re scuba diving you also have jack off material! Picobong also provides some suggestions for use of their waterproof toys:

Not only are PicoBong™ toys easy to clean, but they are also ideal accessories for the bath, shower, swimming pool – even a babbling brook, if that’s your thing.

That’s right, folks! You can jack of in a “babbling brook if that’s your thing.” If this was actually a good toy I’d totes go out and find me a babbling brook to jack off in. Unfortunately, I have no desire to fuck this toy again, considering that it was so inconsequential.

The Bad:

Kiki does not do anything for me. It’s so weak I can hardly feel the vibrations and it runs on 1 AAA batteries, which doesn’t do anything to help with the strength of the vibrations. “The Bad” basically covers everything this toy is. Just like it’s size, the toy is pretty much insignificant.

The Boring Stuff:

Well, the toy is pretty boring. Probs even more boring than the specs. With one AAA you get 2 hours of “power”, probs because it half-asses its job as a vibrator throughout that time.

You can get Kiki at Shevibe, though I’d suggest not getting this toy unless you want weak vibrations and a toy that claims to find your “C-spot.” (wtf is with the “C-spot”?)