My body has changed since I went on birth control. I’ve gained weight – quickly – and I have the purple-red stretch marks to show for it. I feel uncomfortable with weight gain. I was brought up to feel like fat is “bad.” However, I like my stretch marks. And, quite frankly, I think they’re sexy as fuck.

I cannot not be on birth control. I suffer from PMDD and as much as I’d prefer to be on fewer drugs, hormones even me out. They’ve put a long distance between me and hormonal suicidal ideation.

So, I have no choice but to accept these stretch marks. With COVID-19, in a tiny apartment, it’s fucking hard to work out. However, I’m working on it to maintain my health.

I like feeling my stretch marks and tracing them. I like the way they look. But I also like that they cannot be seen by anyone but myself and my partner. The patterns on my skin are my new “me.” My skin decor shows lockdown during COVID and will possibly a lifetime.