Regarding high-quality silicone dildos, Mr. Hankey’s Toys has built a solid reputation among enthusiasts for realism, craftsmanship, and pushing boundaries. After extensive research and a healthy amount of curiosity, I decided to try two of their more unique offerings: Mr Hankey’s Banana Dildo in Small size with partial Firmness and Mr. Hankey’s Scorpion Grinder in Full Firmness. Both toys are distinct in design and sensation, providing an unforgettable, imaginative experience.

Mr. Hankey’s Banana Dildo (Small, Partial Firmness)

Let’s start with Mr. Hankey’s Banana dildo. This toy is exactly what it sounds like—a dildo shaped like a peeled banana, from the gentle upward curve to the rippling “peel” base. While some novelty-shaped toys sacrifice function for appearance, the Banana delivers on both.

Appearance and Build:

The Mr. Hankey’s Banana Dildo’s detail is impressive. The peel segments around the base are sculpted to look like they’ve been split and curled back, giving the toy a whimsical, slightly surreal appearance. The small size is substantial without being overwhelming—think about the size of a real large banana, just enhanced slightly for toy proportions. The partial firmness makes Mr. Hankey’s Banana dildo feel solid in the hand, which improves control and ease of insertion.

Texture and Use:

Because of the shape, the texture varies. The body of the “banana” is smooth with a gentle taper, while the ridge near the peel provides a satisfying stretch and pop when inserted or withdrawn. The full firmness enhances these contrasts—you’ll feel every inch, especially as you pass over the “peel” flare. While not realistic in the anatomical sense, the toy is strangely lifelike regarding tactile feedback.

Inserting the Banana feels playful but surprisingly intense. The flare near the base provides a stretch that caught me off guard the first time, but once past that point, the rest of the toy slides in smoothly. The curve is ideal for either vaginal or anal use, and with the full firmness, it presses nicely against the G-spot or prostate, depending on your positioning.

Overall Impression:

This toy brilliantly straddles the line between novelty and functionality. It’s humorous in concept but genuinely satisfying in practice. The partial firmness is ideal for those who enjoy pressure and precision but don’t want to be overwhelmed with texture. I would recommend it as a beginner toy simply due to the flair and the partial firmness. For those more seasoned with self-fucking or who want more of a “BAM!”, you can customize the Banana dildo with more firmness or a much, much larger dildo. 

Mr. Hankey’s Scorpion Grinder – A Textured Vulva Grinder Like No Other

Now, onto Mr. Hankey’s Scorpion Grinder—a completely different beast. While the Banana is cheeky and smooth, the Scorpion Grinder is bold, intense, and unapologetically aggressive. This toy isn’t designed for penetration but rather for deliberate, grinding stimulation over the vulva. It’s a textured fantasy toy built for external use, and it delivers on its promise with overwhelming satisfaction.

Design and Build of Mr Hankey’s Scorpion Grinder:

The Scorpion Grinder is sculpted with fierce intent. Its form features a deeply ridged, segmented surface, spiraling textures, and “grind plates” that lend the toy its name and function. The look is straight out of a sci-fi fantasy—alien, armored, and a little intimidating in the best way. Every ridge and plate becomes pronounced and unyielding in full firmness, perfect for pressure-based stimulation.

What sets this toy apart is its commitment to texture. There’s no “starter mode” here. Every angle of the Scorpion Grinder is designed to press, catch, and glide against sensitive flesh. It’s not about insertion—it’s about engagement. The shape lends itself naturally to being held in hand and rubbed along the vulva, inner thighs, and outer labia, allowing you to explore a symphony of tactile contrasts. With the solid base, the Scorpion can be positioned on any surface for grinding. Additionally, it can be used with Mr. Hankey’s suction cup.

If the Banana is playful and inviting, the Scorpion Grinder is a challenge—a ritual of sensation. It’s not for the shy or the hurried. It’s for those who enjoy focused attention, deliberate stimulation, and riding the edge of intensity.

Texture and Sensation of Mr. Hankey’s Scorpion Grinder:

Used externally, Mr. Hankey’s Scorpion Grinder becomes a playground of grinding pleasure. Its firmness ensures that none of the intricate detailing gets lost against the body. Every bump and plate presses clearly into the skin, especially when applying moderate pressure. Rocking it back and forth across the vulva feels like an aggressive massage—each ridge awakening nerve endings in a different way.

It’s not just about roughness—it’s about controlled intensity. You can vary the pressure and speed, change angles to explore different textures, and rotate or slide it to focus on specific spots. The grind plates and deep ridges can stimulate the outer labia, mons, and clitoral hood in ways few toys are built to do. For those who love surface-level intensity, this is an absolute dream.

This toy rewards presence. It’s not a quick-fix vibrator; it’s a tool for grinding, edging, and staying in the moment. It’s like dragging a slow, textured wave across your most sensitive parts—sometimes overwhelming, sometimes teasing, always captivating.

Use and Tips:

While the Scorpion Grinder doesn’t vibrate, its sheer texture creates stimulation. Use it dry for a rougher, more tactile experience or with lube to let it glide more easily across the skin. The difference is dramatic—dry grinding offers more friction and grip, while lube softens the ride without dulling the texture.

Use Mr. Hankey’s Scorpion Grinder it for maximum comfort and control while lying on your back or stomach, or grinding it against a soft surface while straddling. It can also be paired with vibration—lay a bullet vibe on the underside, top, or alongside it, which turns the whole experience electric.

Full firmness is essential here. If the toy had any give, the detailing would collapse under pressure. As it is, the firmness makes it feel almost like a textured stone—solid, dependable, and endlessly reusable.

Aftercare and Cleaning:

Due to the deep grooves and ridges of Mr. Hankey’s Scorpion Grinder, cleaning is relatively simple and requires little attention. The toy is made from 100% platinum silicone, so you can boil it, bleach it (in a diluted solution), or use your favorite toy cleaner and warm water. Give the crevices a thorough rinse—any lube or body fluid can settle into the deeper textures. Dry it thoroughly before storing, as residual moisture can linger in the grooves.

Because this toy is so durable and non-porous, it’s a long-term investment. With proper care, it’ll stay in perfect condition for years.

Overall Impression:

Mr. Hankey’s Scorpion Grinder is a perfect grinder for first-time fuckers. In full firmness, it becomes a precision tool for texture lovers. It offers a mind-blowing experience.

Final Thoughts

Mr. Hankey’s Toys delivered two wildly different experiences with the Banana Dildo and Mr. Hankey’s Scorpion Grinder. The Banana is whimsical, surprisingly ergonomic, and intensely pleasurable in a lighthearted way. The Scorpion Grinder is a heavy-duty fantasy toy for texture lovers. Both are masterfully crafted and made with the quality that justifies their price.

If you want something fun and exciting, the Banana might be your best first dip into Mr. Hankey’s world. If you’re a user with a vulva craving some external action, the Scorpion Grinder may do the trick. I recommend more firmness in this grinder to hit those pleasure points.

Check out my review of Mr. Hankey’s Bulge dildo and suction cup!

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