About Mr Hankey’s

Mr. Hankey’s toys have won many adult awards for their fantastic silicone toys, which are formed in molds they craft themselves. When Mr Hankey’s Toys reached out to me to review six of their toys, I *squeed* like a little girl. I’ve admired them afar for some time now, and it’s my pleasure to review them. 

When they told me to pick my toys, they issued a warning, which y’all should heed:

Our toys are larger than your typical toys so please pay attention to the dimensions mentioned on the bottom of each product page.

Folks, they were not kidding. I chose the mini version of all my toys, save for the Bulge Balls, which I’m introducing to you today in size “small.” 

Most of their toys are harness compatible, with a feature that drives me wild: a suction cup hole that turns these massive toys into fantasy dicks you can ride in the shower, on the floor, on your Raya mat, or against a wall. Or, go a little crazy like me and get a SEAT. 

The Suction Cup

The “Heavy-Duty Suction Cup” is a goddamn angel when it comes to Mr Hankey’s massive toys. Given how large and heavy these silicone toys are, I hesitated to take the suction cup. This shit is impressive, just like their toys. The aluminum rod fits perfectly in the small hole on the silicone toys; I was worried when I first saw how much larger the metal rod was. It makes sense in action – the deep and sturdy rod on the suction cup keeps the toy in place and gives me a sense of security. Like balloons popping, I dread the moment the suction cup fails. However, Mr Hankey’s Heavy-Duty Suction cup holds against a flat surface like a BOSS.  

The 4” diameter silicone suction cup has the grip strength of a thousand tycoons and doesn’t let up unless you forget it’s in the shower, and it loses strength six hours later with a thud and a heart attack. Mr Hankey’s suction cup is far superior to all I’ve tried. 

Care and Keeping of the Suction cup

Lube on the cup? Wash it with soap and water, simple as that. 

Using the Suction Cup

Mr. Hankey’s heavy-duty suction cup kicks ass. Shove it into the Vac-U-Lock, and you’re golden. Because silicone does tear, I lubed up the aluminum shaft to protect my toys… after not doing that and tearing them. I was so bummed I forgot to lube the shaft and tore almost all of my toys. That’s no fault of the toy, the suction cup, or Mr. Haney’s. It’s not a common tip to use lube, but please do. Lube on the aluminum rod lets you take it out more easily and cause less damage.

Hotkinkyjo Bulge Balls Dildo 

I ordered the Hotkinkyjo Bulge Ball dildo in a small – a mistake on my part. While there isn’t another smaller option, the Bulge Bulb was HUGE. 

See these dimensions? A sensible person would not get a ” small ” toy of this size. I am not a sensible person. Instead, my eyes are greedier than my vag, and I can’t take a hint. 

I ordered Mr. Hankey’s Hotkinkyjo Bulge Balls in electric yellow – a color that brings happiness and joy while drawing the eyes to it. Yellow isn’t a common sex toy color, so it was exciting to have that option. I chose to have the Bulge Balls crafted in soft silicone, though I didn’t read the product suggestions. On their site, Mr Hankey’s recommends against ordering the Bulge Balls in soft – but I’m a rebel. And lazy. I didn’t do my reading. 

I prefer soft dildos in general because my vulva and vagina are so sensitive, so a soft and fluffy toy is ideal for my vagina. I do not, however, understand how the texture of the Hotkinkyjo Bulge Balls dildo is like a “smooth basketball.” 

I had an awesome time using the suction cup with Mr. Hankey’s Hotkinkyjo Bulge Balls Dildo. Fixing it to the side of my bookcase and wacking it so it swung up and down was too much fun; I enjoyed doing that above all else. It was certainly my favorite toy to attach to the suction cup. 

Care and Keeping and Notes on Mr. Hankey’s Hotkinkyjo Bulge Balls dildo

Silicone is a strong, durable material. It doesn’t need to be sanitized by boiling it. Provided there aren’t a lot of grooves, you can wash it with soap and water. It won’t break down over time. It’s body-safe. It can touch other toys without absorbing their color and store them wherever you want. But it has its kryptonite that you may not anticipate: silicone lube, typically used for anal sex. 

Silicone lubricant interacts with silicone toys like the Hotkinkyjo Bulge Balls Dildo; silicone lubricants are the only thing that can wear a silicone dildo down, thus making it no longer body-safe. There are various types of sexual lube you can use to make penetration comfortable. Silicone and hybrid are two, but silicone lube is unsafe. A hybrid silicone-water-based lube can be safe, but before using it, try the hybrid on a bit of silicone where it won’t touch your body. I’ve had great success with hybrid lubricants. 

That being said, there is a knight in shining armor for silicone toys: water-based lubricant. There are countless water-based options. Some are made by sex toy stores (Babeland), and others are brand-specific lubes, though not all are right for your vulva or vagina’s sensitivity. 

I swear by three types of lube – Lovehoney’s Silk, Sliquid H2O, Slippery Stuff, and, most recently, Pjur women’s lubricant. My pelvic floor therapists use Slippery Stuff. 

Using lube with the Hotkinkyjo Bulge Balls dildo is 100% essential, especially if you’re penetrating an ass with that toy. Your ass does not self-lubricate. Though the vagina self-lubricates, I always use a huge dollop of lube and reapply. For large toys like the Bulge Balls, my vaginal lubricant doesn’t go very far. 

Using the Mr. Hankey’s Hotkinkyjo Bulge Balls Dildo

Inserting Mr. Hankey’s Bulge Balls dildo for me, with my vulvar autoimmune disease, is painful and difficult. The Bulge Ball doesn’t have the steep, tiered taper I need for comfortable insertion, but that’s a matter of preference. 

I’ve seen amazing people shove toys like this in their asses with no problem whatsoever, and I am in constant awe of them. Those with vaginas can accommodate huge toys, and with lube, that is also possible. Vaginas are simply amazing, and the fact that they take a toy that is the size of half a head is astounding. 

Even though the Hotkinkyjo Bulge Balls are marketed as “small,” they are nothing of the sort. That fucker has an 8” diameter at points. For Mr Hankey’s, that’s small, but for me, that’s an XL. Just keep that scale in mind. It’s about the size of two soda cans. 

Overall Thoughts

Both the suction cup accessory and the Hotkinkyjo Bulge Balls dildo are fantastic, high-quality, award-winning toys. The star of this review, for me, was the suction cup. Nearly every dildo (though it depends on the size) can have a custom Vac-U-Lock option. It’s the sturdiest, most expertly-designed suction cup I’ve come across, and a must-have for any toy you add the Vac-U-Lock hole to. 

You can buy the Heavy-Duty Suction Cup (also available in 7”)  and the Hotkinky Jo Bulge Balls at Mr. Hankey’s site. While you’re at it, check out some of the other toys coming up in future reviews.

Future Reviews for Mr. Hankey’s Toys

• Knaughty Dragon 
• Banana Dildo
• Scorpian Sex Grinder
• Affordable Carl Caterpillar Thrusting Dildo, Necklace Vibrator, and G-Spot Vibrator Review
• Pick up some lube while you’re at it. You’ll want it for these toys, and Mr. Hankey’s has some of the best.

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