They come in peace–says the Alien dildo exploring my vagina.

Should I believe them? I’m inclined to. The Alien by Fleshlight is a crazy cool toy. You all know me–I can’t pass up a weird-ass dildo, especially from the Freaks line by Fleshlight. I’ve reviewed the Zombie dick (Swoon), the Dracula dildo, and now the Alien. The line is almost complete, and I am determined to finish this line of awesome-possum toys. This review will focus a lot on the make of the toy rather than how the toy feels because that mother fucker is thick

Looking at the Alien on Fleshlight’s site I didn’t see how big it was. That thing has some girth. As you know by now, my eyes are bigger than my vagina and that can sometimes be a problem. In this case, it was a problem but it was entirely my fault and had nothing to do with the make of the toy.

The “woot!” of the Alien Dildo

  • The color. OMG the color is beautiful. This dildo is a shade I’ve never seen before. The Alien Dildo is a nice break from the traditional pink toys that dominate the sex toy industry.
  • The size is going to go in both the “Woot!” and the “Eh…” section. The Alien Dildo may please size queens but it was too painful for me to love it.
  • The Zombie is the most textured toy I own but the Alien Dildo is textured enough to please those of you that like texture.
  • It’s easy to thrust with, being that it has such big balls.
  • Like the Dracula Dildo it has bumps where hair would naturally be which can be cool…

The “eh” of the Alien Dildo

  • It’s not tapered well enough for it to go comfortably in me. It’s a bit of a surprise when I tried to insert it. I couldn’t just ram it in and get going. However, once it was in, it was in.
  • It’s quite large, too large to fit in me comfortably.

Who would like the Alien Dildo toy?

Don’t think the Alien Dildo is right for you?

Would I recommend the Alien Dildo?

I’m Taking a Sex Toy Sabbatical

You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t been very active on this blog. Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder has gotten in the way of me reviewing regularly. It’s a persistant challenge; a challenge that is hindering my blog because I blog so infrequently. I’ve been forcing sex toys on my body because I feel that I have obligations to do so, and that’s just not working.

So, I’ve decided to announce that I am taking a break. Or, rather, I want you to know that I won’t be as present a figure for an undetermined amount of time. I’m not abandoning my blog, I still treasure it and value my readers and the working relationships I have with the companies and manufacturers; I just feel like the respectful thing to do is to let you know that I’ll at a distance, but I will be back.

It’s like taking a sabbatical. I’m working on my body and my sexuality to better myself and, likewise, to better my blog and my commitment to you. And, like a sabbatical, I do have of plenty of my research. I have an entire bookcase of sex+ books as well as a notebook and random papers of notes for my active review products. I’m planning on reviewing at least once every month, which is very infrequent, I know, but it’s doable. 

I hope you all understand, it’s no slight on you, and I want to assure you that I’m not taking being a reviewer for granted. Right now I just have to do what is best for my body and that’s to let my body decide how and when it wants to come.



Once again, Tantus hits the spot The Tantus Uncut #2 is an uncircumcised dildo, one of the first of it’s kind (Bad Dragon also has uncircumcised dildos, though they are fantasy dildos). It’s another dual-density toy of theirs, the Adam O2 … Continue reading



Tantus sent me the Flurry O2… I’d heard so much about Tantus when I first started reviewing. Since then, I’ve had the (literal) pleasure of reviewing many toys for them (like the Adam O2, Perfect Plug Kit, Purr, Vamp, Little Flirt) … Continue reading


White streaks that look like cum

Nox the Night Drake You’ve seen me review Crackers and Scorn the Wyvern. After I posted these reviews Bad Dragon wanted to continue working with me. So the next toy they sent me was Nox. Holy. Fucking. Shit. That thing … Continue reading