What Sex Toys Are to Cum

DSC00540

I’ve been gone for quite a while now, which means I have many, many sex toys that need to be reviewed. Tomorrow I’m back in the game and I have some awesome reviews to share with you. Here’s what’s going to … Continue reading

Sex Toy Reviewer Update

DSC00540

A lot has happened in the past two months or so, and pretty much none of it has to do with this blog. However, it’s my responsibility–as a sex blogger–to give you content to look at and look forward to. … Continue reading

Monday Recap and Le Future Week of OHB (*hint hint* Massive Giveaway)

As of late things have been pretty slow. However, I have plans to make my blog super-fucking-awesome. I have every intention of creating a massive giveaway in celebration of my 1+ years of blogging. Tantus, Good Vibrations, Bad Dragon and Lovehoney will all be sponsoring this giveaway; all of them are my favorite stores. I’m trying to get Stockroom in on the game, too. A little tidbit to get you excited: Bad Dragon is going to give away a toy of the winner’s own making, no restrictions! Lovehoney and GV will be giving away a toy that we agree upon on and Tantus will be giving away their new, Uncut #1 or #2. I’m super-duper excited about this, bro. I haven’t tried Tantus’ Uncut but I’ve heard wonderful things about it. I need you guys to give me some input about what you want from GV and Lovehoney; both of those are two retailers that I absolutely love and I want you to love them too.

Last week I published one review of my Dracula dick that Fleshlight was kind enough to send to me for review. It’s the second toy in the Freaks line that I have, the first being the Zombie dick–of which I still can’t fucking flip the image . Let’s all root for me to review the rest of the series, shall we? *HINT* *HINT* *POKE POKE*

 

I posted a massive pick of my vampire dick. No joke, I took that thang outside and took photos of it in public. Fortunately, no one saw, but a part of me wanted someone to see me doing it.  😉

The Dracula dick wasn’t the only thing I photographed in public, I also took out Tantus’ Purr dildo and the Rechargeable Magic Wand from Maxiwand.

Bummer, man, I got an awesome ((sarcasm)) yeast infection, the first I’ve ever had, from some antibiotics I was on. That made penetration incredibly unpleasant so I went quite a while between reviews. An indie artist, Darren,sent me a clay version of the Pure Wand, a toy I desperately want to try but haven’t yet had the pleasure of doing so. As soon as my vagina heals I’m shoving that thing in me and rocking it up and down against my g-spot. Darren’s toy looks magical, just…not very attractive magical. When I first started out, I wanted the prettiest toys, now I’ve realized that looks don’t mean shit, it’s the shape, material, and firmness (or not-so-firm) that makes a toy good or bad.

 

This week I’m going to review the last toy Tantus sent me, then hope that their next toys  they send me work better with my body. I’m going to attempt to do a meme or two and I’m going to take a shitton of Adderal and black tea so I can write like a mad woman. Unfortunately, I’m quite backed up with reviews right now and my yeast infection isn’t helping. Because of my anorgasmia flare-up I pretty much only have penetrative toys to review. Strick that, I only have dildo’s to review. Right now what I need are some vibes.

 

Good Vibes gave me an anal lube shooter that I’ll be reviewing for anal month (a month of celebrating le asshole, a month that GV created), and a handful of water based gel and liquid lube as well as silicone lube–something I can’t use with pretty much all of my anal-safe toys. So, the reviews won’t be happening quite so regularly 🙁 I have some notes stocked up but I prefer to use dildos more than vibes. This is contrary to what some reviewers say but I actually find it easier to review dildo’s rather than vibes.

Anywhoo, I’m going to get started on my blargh giveaway. I wish you all the best and happy fucking! I hope you’ve enjoyed OHB’s Monday recap.