It’s time for me to tease you! This month will see as many reviews as I’m able to write. I am swamped with toy reviews to publish so my goal is to do 1-2 a week. Now that I have another full time job I won’t have as much time to write. After I come home from work I just collapse in a lazy ball and binge-watch Netflix. I can’t do that this month, though. I have too many toys to review. In a perfect world I’d review 2-3 times a week. I have plenty of notes and all the toys I have have been used more than twice (3-5 times is how often I use each toy before I review it); the problem is that I have to sit down and write and then edit, then ask a friend to edit, then rewrite and check again. Who
They come in peace–says the Alien dildo exploring my vagina.
Should I believe them? I’m inclined to. The Alien by Fleshlight is a crazy cool toy. You all know me–I can’t pass up a weird-ass dildo, especially from the Freaks line by Fleshlight. I’ve reviewed the Zombie dick (Swoon), the Dracula dildo, and now the Alien. The line is almost complete, and I am determined to finish this line of awesome-possum toys. This review will focus a lot on the make of the toy rather than how the toy feels because that mother fucker is thick
Looking at the Alien on Fleshlight’s site I didn’t see how big it was. That thing has some girth. As you know by now, my eyes are bigger than my vagina and that can sometimes be a problem. In this case, it was a problem but it was entirely my fault and had nothing to do with the make of the toy.
The “woot!” of the Alien Dildo
- The color. OMG the color is beautiful. This dildo is a shade I’ve never seen before. The Alien Dildo is a nice break from the traditional pink toys that dominate the sex toy industry.
- The size is going to go in both the “Woot!” and the “Eh…” section. The Alien Dildo may please size queens but it was too painful for me to love it.
- The Zombie is the most textured toy I own but the Alien Dildo is textured enough to please those of you that like texture.
- It’s easy to thrust with, being that it has such big balls.
- Like the Dracula Dildo it has bumps where hair would naturally be which can be cool…
The “eh” of the Alien Dildo
- It’s not tapered well enough for it to go comfortably in me. It’s a bit of a surprise when I tried to insert it. I couldn’t just ram it in and get going. However, once it was in, it was in.
- It’s quite large, too large to fit in me comfortably.
Who would like the Alien Dildo toy?
Don’t think the Alien Dildo is right for you?
Would I recommend the Alien Dildo?
It’s time for another guest reviewer contest! Here’s how it works: you do all the prompt thingies and that gets you in the running to win a free sex toy–this time it’s the _____- and then you write a review and send it to me. In the review I publish I’ll include your desired screen name and
It’s time for another giveaway! This time I’m doing something I’ve only done once before: Good Vibes and I are giving away the Jopen Vibrating Mini Wand to a winner for review on my blog! After I announce the winner, they will have one month to send me a review of the toy they received to be posted on my blog. If you’re an established reviewer, feel free to enter but please only reference and link to the review that you’ve given me to display on my blog.
Now, I want to note that this toy is not anal safe so keep that in mind when you enter. However, not being anal-safe doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy this toy. It can be used on one’s nipples and perineum (my boy loved the Magic Wand against his balls). Get creative, there’s a way for everyone to enjoy this toy, just don’t stick it up your ass!
I ask that you only enter under one account. I’ve done a giveaway where people made multiple accounts to enter and that made me sad 🙁 There are many opportunities for you to enter so keep at it!
There you go, short(ish) and sweet.
Let the (Hunger Games) Begin
I’ve reviewed some Kegel exercisers before, but nothing as intense as the kGoal by Minna. This is a high-tech piece of technology that you place in your vag and squeeze around. While the Luna Balls, for example, had a tendency to slide out because I wasn’t strong enough then, the kGoal stays in me.
The kGoal by Minna is a sophisticated piece of technology that measures your vaginal contractions and gives you feedback via both the app and vibrations that travel through the toy and, this is
ZOMG you guys, I finally have a partner that I can fuck. Well, for the time being. This post is happy because I’ve gotten in the groove of things, but unfortunate because I think I’m going to dump that bitch