Pretty please read everything here o.O

Hello my lovely fuck bunnies, as of this month I’ve been reviewing sex toys and sex+ books for 1.5 years. It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long but it has and I want to do something special for you, like you’ve done for me when you read mah writing.  To celebrate I collaborated with We-VibeTantus, Good Vibrations, Lovehoney, Blush Novelties, and Bad Dragon.

It’s been an absolute pleasure–literally–reviewing for you all. I’ve learned so much about my body and along the way I hope you did too. I’ve fucked myself plenty of times in the past 1.5 years and I want you to be able to go fuck yourself, too! I couldn’t do this without you, my readers, and I appreciate every single one of you reading my blargh. I have a blast writing (English major here) and exploring my sexuality.

I’ve tried to include toys that everyone of all genders and sexes can play with.

A ” *” marks a toy that I haven’t yet reviewed. You following my blog is going to make my day a whole lot brighter. When you follow me, you’ll see my reviews of the thingies that I’ve *’d along with, you know, a fucking million other reviews and rants.

The Uncut is in the mail, the Rimmer is in my “To Be Reviewed” drawer, Form 5 will be in the mail as soon as I find someone to send it to me, the We Vibe Pleasure kit is on my nightstand and the Bad Dragon Nox is also there, all toys will be reviewed some day soon(ish)!

When I ask you to leave a comment, it doesn’t need to  be on this page. It can be anywhere on my blog ^_^

**I’ve added another Bad Dragon prize!**

Here’s what the prizes will be:

Tantus Uncut #1 or #2

Lovehoney’s Oh! Rabbit Vibe

Good Vibrations, the Form 5

We-Vibes Tango and Pleasure Mates

Blush Novelties’ Rimmer kit

Bad Dragon Toy of Your Choice

Bad Dragon Tennie Weenies

It’s been brought to my attention that it’s tempting to make a second account and Tweet several times. Please don’t. You can enter everyday (for your true account) so you’ll have plenty of chances to win the toy of your choosing. Do(n’t) do it for me, k?

If you’re not a winner at the end of this thingymabober, do consider getting the toy of your choice from my affiliates. I’ll get a portion of the sale (at no extra cost to you) and, more importantly, I’ll get more toys to review for you.

*Tantus–Uncut #1 or #2

OHB-Uncut

This was a huge-fucking deal, you guys. Like, major big deal. If you haven’t heard of it, get on this shit, because I’ve heard nothing but praise for these toys. Tantus is giving away either size of their new “Uncut” line, a series of uncircumcised dildos, something that many people find appealing. If you’re not one of those peeps then it’s still a fucking awesome toy because, hold on to your hats, it’s dual density! I’ve only ever reviewed two dual density toys and I’m absolutely dying to try this one out. Looks like one of you may get to try it before I do. Go ahead and pick your color, I’m partial to “Cocoa.” This is open world-wide. Click hur to enter if the widget thingy below isn’t working.  Tantus Uncut  

Lovehoney- Oh! RabbitOHB-Oh! Rabbit

This was the first of their products that I reviewed for Lovehoney and it’s something that can be used by people of all genders and sexes. We all know the big deal about rabbit vibes is that they stimulate both the vagina and the clit but those with le penis need not be turned away from this giveaway! Rabbits can be fun for guys, gals, neither, both or everyone in between. While the rabbit ears tease the clit while the g-spotter head is hitting le g-spot, it can easily be flipped around, used as a p-spotter while the rabbit ears stimulate the perineum. Here are the shipping options for this toy. Gleam thingy not working? Click here to enter.

Lovehoney- Oh! Rabbit

*Good Vibes- Form 5   OHB-Form 5   This is one of the weirdest looking toy I’ve seen (the other being Princessa and the Sqweel Go). You’re going to have to tell me how it feels once you win :) On Good Vibration’s site you’ll see an example of how men can receive pleasure from this vibrator, too. Go check it out! Oh, and it’s rechargable–woot! Good Vibes will ship to the US and Canada. On that happy note: if the thingy down below isn’t loading, you can enter by clicking here Good Vibrations–Form 5      

*We Vibe–Tango Pleasure Mates 

OHB-pleasure_mates

As in, the whole freakin’ kit: The Tango, Glow, and Dusk. I cannot stress to you (in this post) how amazing the Tango is (<–I stressed it in that link). I chose the whole kit because you all deserve the Tango and the Dusk is asshole friends for the peeps that only have a dick to stick these toys in. Peeps w/o a vag, pass on the love with the Glow. We-Vibe also sent me both of the the pleasure Mate’s and I can assure: this is a prize you’re going to want to win. Enter below or–if it’s not working–right here.

We Vibe–Tango Pleasure Mate

  *Blush Novelties–The Rimmer Kit   OHB-Blush Novelties   You get all three with each toy slowly building in size. I have the smallest Rimmer and I have yet to review it however, I can tell you in full confidence, that I wouldn’t give you a toy I didn’t want to put inside of me. Blush can ship toUS, CA, UK and Australia. If you can’t see the thingymabober, or it’s not working, you can enter here.  The Rimmer Kit by Blush Novelties   

And, finally,

Bad Dragon–Anything!

You ready to jizz your pants? The winner gets to make their own Bad Dragon toy. I’ve been told there are no restrictions which means you get to pick the firmness, the color, the style, the size and everything in between. You get a cumtube or no cumtube; suction cup or none; firm, medium or soft. Seriously, it’s yours bro. All yours. Click here if the thingy ain’t workin’.

A note from Bad Dragon about the availability of this toy: 

There are only a few places we can’t ship: Some countries’ customs will not accept our goods at all, or will take the opportunity to abuse or otherwise mistreat the package. We do not ship to the following countries for one or more of these reasons: 

Argentina
North Korea
Russia
South Korea
Singapore
Thailand
Ukraine

Bad Dragon Toy of Your Choice

Tiny dildos, ’nuff said.OHB-BD teensy TinyBad Dragon Teenie Weenies

As I said above, enter as many times as you’d like. The contest will run for about a month, to give you more time to enter and gradually increase your chances at being the lucky duck for each. 

And for those of you that aren’t one of the lucky readers who wins these prizes, you can still get yourself one. If you click on the links above I get a little portion of the sale via my affiliate linky-things (it costs you nothing extra) , and that lets me get more toys to review for yew. Another woot!