WTF? Rockbox Finger Thrusting Vibrator

On Her Back presents:

The Fail of a Toy I Promised You

First Impressions:

Oh-my-God. This toy shouldn’t be on the market. Things went from bad to worse the longer I used this toy. To start with, I could not get this fucking toy open. While I was unable to use it I took some time to prepare myself by reading some other bloggers reviews. I finally had to pry it open the ROCKBOX Finger Thrusting Vibrator with a knife, dude, a fucking knife. I couldn’t open it by squeezing, pinching, or yanking. I gave it to my sister’s boyfriend (with the promise that it hadn’t been used because, you know, it wouldn’t open so I couldn’t use it…) and he couldn’t open it either.

It’s just sad when you can’t open a toy for a few days and finally resort to violence. It was probs only fear of me threatening to knife that little fucker in half that it finally opened. It’s a good thing I read that other bloggers have been pinched. As soon as I turned it on, the toy pinched my finger; which I was grateful for because it could have been my labia.

Also, the packaging is just awful. It proudly displays on the Lovehoney site that it’s “As Seen on TV.” I don’t think that’s necessarily a good thing to advertise. I’ve always associated “As seen on TV” as something cheap. And the packaging looks like a power tool, not a pleasure product. I’m sure that’s what they were going for, though, but it didn’t work for me.

The Good:

There’s not many good things about this toy. The only thing I can think of is that because it thrusts so fast it truly does hit my g-spot. However, the blasted thing is so fucking loud the only opportunity I had to use it was when everyone was out of my house, which doesn’t happen often enough. There you have it, all the “good” about this toy.

Maybe the fact that it looks creepishly like a finger could be a positive? That’s pretty much the only thing they’re successful at. The build is solid, too solid, considering that I was not able to open it. But the large finger is silky-smooth silicone that feels good to touch.

There are three settings, the slowest being just fine for me. I suppose that’s a positive aspect to this toy.

The Bad:

Loud as hell. Couldn’t open it for days. It’s advertised as the toy to help you fulfill your squirting dreams but this thing isn’t even waterproof. If I am going to squirt over a toy I need it to be waterproof; how else is it going to last? How am I supposed to truly get it clean?

It requires 4 AAA batteries, something I had on hand but wasn’t prepared for. I’m a bit spoiled when it comes to how toys get their powered. I like rechargeable because, you know, it’s better for the environment and it saves me some monies.

I cannot stand the noise, I’m positive my neighbors can hear it, but it’s more likely that they’d think it’s a jackhammer than a sex toy. Still, it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t usually request/accept toys that I think I won’t enjoy but I honestly had (some) hopes that the finger would work out, considering the curve and the speed at which it goes.

I thought the video on their website is hilarious. When Annabell turns it on she comments on the sound as a sign that it’s a “powerful” toy. It’s powerful, sure, in a I’m-going-to-pinch-your-labia-and-make-you-go-fucking-crazy way.

I spent the whole fuck-fest with the Finger being scared that it was going to pinch my nether regions (oh yes, I did just say that); which, in turn, meant I wasn’t able to actually enjoy it at all. If you apply more pressure to, for instance, make the toy go farther into you (which I don’t recommend, considering the pinching danger) it dampens the strength of the thrusting.

I’m incredibly disappointed with this toy. I honestly have no clue how it got any good reviews on Lovehoney’s site.

Final Verdict:

This is not a toy worth buying. You run the risk of injuring yourself and your pride when you can’t get the damn thing open. There are better toys to play with, many of which Lovehoney does carry. This toy was a fail, but they do have plenty of quality toys on their site.

The Boring Stuff :

  • Length: 12 inches
  • Insertable Length: 5.5 inches
  • Circumference: 4.75 inches
  • Silky silicone

Unlike many firm toys, the Rockbox Finger Thrusting Vibe didn’t feel any larger than other firm dildos I’ve felt. It’s small enough that someone with a smaller, untrained vagina could handle, though it is plenty powerful enough to give the more experienced g-spotter a powerful go.

TL;DR

This toy is a piece of shit. Don’t get it. It’ll refuse to open then hurt you because you made it work and it didn’t like that.

Lovehoney has an awesome return policy that I recommend you take advantage of if you’ve already bought this toy before reading my review. No questions asked, 365 days to return it. They’ll refund your money or give you another one–though I’d strongly recommend that you get your money back and invest in a thrusting toy like the Stronic Eins by Fun Factory or a rabbit with a rotating(ish) shaft like the Oh! Rabbit by Lovehoney. 

 

 

 

Thank you to Lovehoney for sending me this toy in exchange for an honest review. I’d say this review was pretty honest…

Shop Fifty Shades of Grey with 365 day no hassle returns at Lovehoney

 

4 thoughts on “WTF? Rockbox Finger Thrusting Vibrator

  1. Your ranting disdain is a marvel to behold.

    And by that, I mean I scared the pets with my laughter.

    (I’m glad it was just your finger that got the finger from the Finger.)

  2. “It was probs only fear of me threatening to knife that little fucker in half that it finally opened.”

    “It’s powerful, sure, in a I’m-going-to-pinch-your-labia-and-make-you-go-fucking-crazy way.”

    This review is absolutely fantastic.

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