REVIEW: Fleshlight *Zombie* Dildo

IMG_3761   Initial thoughts: Oh my god. First off, how is that going to fit in me? And all the texture, this is either going to be a hit or a miss. I wrote my thesis on zombie apocalypse literature so zombie’s hold a dear spot in my heart (and now in my vagina…) so when I discovered the Zombie dildo by Fleshlight I knew this would be the perfect edition to my Unusual Sex Toys series and my vag.

I’m constantly confused about texture. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. For a while there I thought texture wasn’t my thing but the Mini Rippler by Pleasure Works had a mini effect on my “likes.” I realized that smooth dildos that don’t vibrate are boring as fuck. The more texture, the more lube I need to have a comfortable fuck with my dildos, and that is true with the zombie dildo. However, as you can see in the pictures, the “cured” platinum silicone is slick. There is no drag (something that can also be a hit or a miss) which is something I appreciate with a toy this large. The Zombie dick is nowhere near the size of the Frankenstein dildo but it’s still pretty substantial, given how firm the silicone is (the firmer, the larger it’s likely to feel).

The packaging isn’t the classiest. It comes in a box with an open window display. Of course, that just made it all the more exciting, but it was packaged like a children’s toy you’d find at Toys R Us. I actually loved the packaging, it was like a tease, seeing it all ready for me like a toy for an adult. And, as I mention below, the is no indicator of the dimensions. However, all you have to do is look at the toy to realize that it’s either too big or just perfect. The back of the packaging has a little blurb:

This zombie wants your brains, and the only way to get them is to fuck them out of you! Made with health care-grade, platinum cured silicone in extreme detail by Fleshlight, your dead nights will now always be living.

Tru dat.

The Good: Uh, zombies… Can a dildo get any cooler than that? (The answer is “no”, btw.) It’s a classy dildo, as classy as a zombie dick can get. It’s shiny which actually didn’t gross me out like I thought it would. It made the effect all the more realistic. The Zombie dick is incredibly detailed. No bit was overlooked, even the stringy-ness of the muscle as it slid down the zombie penis. There are layers upon layers of muscle and skin that drip off the dildo (of course, that’s just the effect).

It’s beautiful, in a disgusting sort of way. I’m going to include the firmness of the zombie dick in both “The good” and “The bad” because it’ll work for some people even though it wasn’t my favorite part of the dildo.

The bad: I prefer a bit more squish than the Zombie dildo offers. It made the texture a bit harder to get used to, unlike my Bad Dragon dildos that are squishy and textured. Did that ruin the toy for me? Absolutely not! It takes some warming up to get it in comfortably but that just makes for a more exciting jack off session.

How it felt: Hard. Like an erect penis with incredible texture. There was no “popping” feeling that is common with textured sex toys, for which I was grateful. Sometimes that’s a good thing, it depends on where I am in my cycle. This time there was only glorious texture that I could distinctly feel with every thrust. And believe me, this is a thrusting toy. The first time I tried it my vagina was sore, having gone through a furious beating the night before so the Zombie was too much to handle the thrusting. Leaving it in without moving it was not pleasurable in itself, thrusting was the way to go for me.

The boring stuff: I cannot for the life of me figure out the dimensions. It’s not on the packaging or on Fleshlight’s website.

After a few uses: My love for my Zombie dick flourished. It was one of the most glorious things I’ve ever stuck inside of me; whether that’s because it’s a zombie dick or because of the texture, I cannot say for certain. Most likely it’s a mix of the two.

tl;dr? How can a zombie enthusiast find something more pleasurable to look at–and to fuck–as a zombie dick? The texture is amazing, this dildo was made for fucking. It’s large and firm which makes it feel big, something not to be taken for granted. It comes highly recommended by the woman on her back.

 

IMG_3755 IMG_3756 IMG_3761 IMG_3753

REVIEW: Fleshlight *Zombie* Dildo

9.475

Appearance

10/10

    Material

    10/10

      Performance

      10/10

        Ease of Cleaning

        8/10

          Pros

          • Silicone
          • As realistic as zombies can get ;)
          • Flesh falling off

          Cons

          • May gross some peeps out

          14 thoughts on “REVIEW: Fleshlight *Zombie* Dildo

          1. Oh my god, this looks like a dream came true. I’m the biggest zombie enthusiast, I swear. It really looks like a pain to wash though, but oh boy, would it be worth it! Thanks for making me discover this gem, it’s definitely going in my wish list!

          2. Okay, I must admit: at my first glance at the thumbnails, that looked like an old, mossy wood texture to me. (This space has been inserted for your laughter.) Upon closer inspection: it must be a hell to clean. A toothbrush/nailbrush type of situation all the way. I shudder to think of cleaning it after a few hours on the nightstand! (I exaggerate.) To each their own, however 🙂

            Zombie apocalypse thesis, though? Sign me up.

            Hmm, I think you could measure the toy yourself with a tape, and indicate the measurements are yours — that would be more helpful than just saying they’re not officially provided. This is more cosmetic than about the content, but I think rotating the pictures so that they’re right side up (as in, vertical dildo) would make the review look better, too. Also, I’m pretty sure the doctor’s name was Frankestein, not “Frankenstine” as it appears once in your review 😉

            • Oh man, I can’t spell for shit. Thanks for pointing that out. I’ll change the pics, I didn’t see that when I posted it o.O I cleaned it by sticking it in the dishwasher 😉

              Sure, I’ll measure it from now on whenever something doesn’t provide the measurements, you’re right, that would be better.

              Thanks for commenting and giving your feedback!

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